Top 10 Tips to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

As you may know, it is becoming vital to prepare for this impending crisis. There have already been reports of zombie outbreaks all over the world. Its only a matter of time until an outbreak turns into an epidemic. Now what ever you call these creatures- ghouls, the walking dead, zeds, undead, or even lame brains. They all have one critical flaw- they are stupid, and you are not. And to fully utlize your advantage here are 10 tips to survive the zombie apocalypse.


The Ideal Weapon

I have heard a lot of arguments, on which weapon is the best to kill a zombie. From kitchen knives to flamethrowers, the list never ends. Well for starters, stop using movies as a reference for reality. Flamethrowers are heavy and huge to carry, and where will you find fuel for it in a post-zombie world? The singular best weapon is a machete. Most of them use blackened blades which are hard to spot at night, they are non-serrated so the blade doesn’t get stuck inside a zombie. At this point I am assuming you already know that the only way to kill a zombie is to damage its brain. Even when you slice of the head, the mouth will keep on moving, and will pose a risk. Machetes are also well balanced blades, and can compliment a gun as a secondary weapon.

So if you want to carry a gun, carry a bolt action rifle. They can easily be attached with a bayonet addon, and their ammo is easy to find. Ammo is hard to come by for assault weapons and automatics,  as they are illegal in most countries for civilian use, also they are prone to jamming. Imagine having you gun jam when twenty zedheads are rushing towards you. A bolt action, (for example a Springfield), will never fail you, they are easy to aim and have a good range. Remember you cannot crowd control zombies, whenever you are horribly outnumbered just make a run for it. You don’t have to be the hero. One last thing I have to add, don’t use pistols, just don’t. They are hard to aim for the untrained person, they make the same noise as a bolt action, but with none of the advantages. And most importantly, they are useless in close quarters combat, whereas a Bolt Action, can use its bayonet.


The Stronghold

Whenever you find out that the zombie apocalypse has begun, don’t act like the masses and instinctively pack your things and make a run for it. Everyone will be doing that! And that means all the major highways will be packed, and you will be stuck inside your car, waiting to be zombie food. The smartest thing you can do, is to fortify your house and prepare for a siege. With some good defences and stockpiled food and medicine you can easily last upto six months before you have to move. First things first, you will need water. Clean your tub and fill it with drinkable water (tap water, if you live in a developed country). This will be your water reserve, when inevitably you run out of all other sources of water. Secondly, move to the highest point of your house, and create obstacles for zombies. The Japanese had mastered a fortification known as the ‘Star Fort’, where basically a castle was designed like an onion, and besiegers had to break through multiple layers of defences before making it to the core.

You will do the same, barricade the windows. If you have a garden fence, reinforce it with barbed wiring. Seal the doors, break the staircases so they cant climb. Move your furniture near the doors, so they become immobile. Use every resource you have to create a deterent. Also make sure you have a clear escape route set up, incase you get overrun. When it comes to food, eat the perishables first, then the canned food. Make sure your entire household has specific jobs to do, and make sure someone does night watch. Now a few tips, its always good to have a firearm at home, but don’t use it, unless you want every zombie within the five mile radius to come to your house. Secondly make sure your household has a high morale, its very easy to fall into despair during sieges and when you have nothing to do. Hold singing competetions and play board games with them. If you are alone, then keep yourself busy, excercise and read books. Keeping a positive attitude is a must during times like these.


The Survival Kit

Perhaps the most important item on this list. A survival kit can make a hopeless situation seem hopeful. But remember that having no survival kit doesn’t mean certain death. It just helps the situation- think of it as a useful luxury. I know that sounds like an oxymoron. Anyways here are the items which you should have at all times-
– A non-serrated knife
– Medikit – Cleaning spray, bandages, pain killers, antiseptics etc.
– A firearm (with atleast 60 rounds of ammo)
– Flashlight
– A box of rations (enough for atleast a week to a month) – Some ideas for these are energy bars, canned goods, dried meat, rice etc.
– Rain proof boots
– Simple cooking utensils – A pot, waterproof matches, large spoon etc.
– Mirror (for signalling)
– Sleeping bag
– 2 bottles of water
– A compass and a map of the local area


On Escaping

There will come a time when you will run out of your food supplies, or the household defenses wont be able to hold the zombies off. This is the time to run. The question about escaping is that, where to escape to? The answer is simple, go towards the cold. Remember this. Zombies get stuck in the snow and your job is to outlast them. Use the survival kit advice I gave as your baseline but don’t carry too much. Making yourself heavy will tire you faster and that means you are zombie food.

The best form of moving from place to place, are bicycles. They dont make too much noise, they are fast and they don’t require a fuel (other than food for you ofcourse). This is ideal, horses are a good option too but they tend to panic infront of zombies. Use them only if you are good with horses. Cars are the worst, they make too much noise, depend on fuel and need clear roads. I pity the man who has to change his tire in the middle of a zombie infested highway. Stick to the basic vehicles and travel only by day.

If you live in a warm area, go towards the high ground. Its usually colder and will give you huge visual range. One last thing, is about rest. Try to travel with other people (more on that in a bit) and take turns on sleeping. If you are alone, always sleep in an area where you can make a quick run for it, and if something approaches you can hear it (dry leaves around you for example).


Dealing with other Survivors

If you find other survivors join them, or trade with them. Contrary to movies, humans don’t turn into monsters during a crisis. At the same time be cautious, if they ask you to lay down your arms. Avoid getting too emotionally attached to other survivors because death comes quick in this world. Since the economy will collapse, the most appropriate form of currency will be ammunition and ciggarettes. . Just remember that it is always easier to survive in packs, forget the lone wolf nonsense.

The best possible thing to do is form a group and train them. Make them take shifts for lookout and for hunting. The ideal size is not more than 10 but atleast 3. Its also always better to have a clear leader, rather than a democracy system in place. In the zombie apocalypse you wont have time for debate.


Building a More Solid Home

So you have found a place to settle (preferably cold) and a group of loyal survivors. What next? Now you build a fortress. The best places to set up the base camp are usually military forts, shopping malls, banks, or basically any structure which can hold its own against waves of zombies. Jails are usually a safe bet if they are abandoned already. After clearing out your future base, its time to have some long term solutions in place. First things first, have some solid defences and escape routes in place. Refer back to the list for advice on this matter. Next build a well, and link it with small canals so it collects rain water. Then find some local crops and start farming. Remember that human waste is the best fertilizer, waste nothing.

Find some animals and start breeding them, if you find horses you are in luck. After this, have a few of your people explore the nearby areas everyday, to keep them busy and scavenge resources. After these basics are nailed down, it all depends on the type of community you have already on what to do next. If you have too many children, setting a school should be next on the list. Too many old or sick? A hospital should be next then. Too many raiders? Set up a small barracks for training a small force.


Know your Enemy

I am surprised that I still haven’t explained zombies to the reader. Since I have covered some of the most important basics, I think I can explain what we are up against.  The zombie virus, does not travel by air. But it does travel by saliva, hence bites and scratches are deadly. Once you have been infected, symptoms take 10-25 hours to start appearing. After that you have less than a day until you die. Reanimation then occurs roughly 3 hours after death. The symptoms include nausea, feelings of hopelessness, delirium, dry throat, massive bleeding and a high fever.

It is still unknown if there are people who are immune to the virus, best not take any chances. The primary way to get infected is by a bite, unless the zombie doesn’t completely eat you till then. Amputations don’t work, don’t even bother. If someone is infected in your party, its best to isolate them and bind them. Animals cannot get infected by the virus, luckily. Lastly its possible to outlive the zombie apocalypse as human bodies take 5 years to decompose. After that you are in a relatively safe zone.


Different Environments

Lets get something straight, the best place to be when the undead rise, is to be in a cold place. Ice freezes them. Sadly for humans, living in the Antarctic isn’t feasible for a long time, so if you are planning a trip to an icy tundra, pack some blankets and bring some animals with you. And then constantly move around, go to warmer areas to stock up once a year, then return to the cold. Hot places are terrible, they dont slow down the zeds that much, and make it hard for people to travel by the day. Open areas are the worst, as you will be a sitting duck. Lastly going to the sea is always a good option, they cant swim. Hence if you are a good sailor with a good ship, you can survive the apocalypse simply by staying in your boat anchored near the coast, and occasionally go there for supplies. Heck, you can fish for your own food, and use a desalinator unit to get some clean water. If you have solar panels you will even have constant power and heating. It can’t get better than that. Just be careful of zombies climbing up the anchorline.


The Single Most Useful Thing You Can Learn

Throughout history, whenever there is an invader in a foriegn land, a part of the local population quickly joins up with the invaders, expecting better treatment if they do. We call them traitors. Well the zombie apocalypse is like an invasion, and its no different, a part of the population will go on their side. How? You may ask, well in some documented cases, some people start thinking of themselves as zombies. They dress like them, act like them, and they attack humans. We call them ‘hunters’, in reality they are just people who lost their sanity. Zombies though don’t descriminate, they attack all humans equally, and if they see a hunter, they will kill it. Even worse, when hunters are attacked by zombies, they dont fight back.

Next time you see a zombie though, people make the mistake of trying to find out if they are a hunter, rather than an infected. You should not care, kill anything which threatens you, don’t wait to be eaten.


Morieris, iterum immortui

For the last part of this guide, I will go on about how to rebuild, and sweep for them. Most of the guide was about running from them, now you will fight back. Form hunting squads, and sweep areas once you get enough numbers. Rural areas are easier than urban ones. And honestly don’t even bother about the big cities, let the military or police handle that. Rural areas, have crops and arable land. A concrete jungle has nothing to offer you at this point.

As for the rebuilding effort, expand your numbers. Gain alliances and forge a new world from the ashes. We as a species are really good at starting all over again.



Life is like the Shawshank Redemption, but with more tunneling through shit and no freaking redemption.Also I love historical things, creepy stuff, and videogames.

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